I'm back in another year. 

This blog I will open when I'm at my lowest point of myself ...

and.... 

I'm here today.

I will get married soon to the same person. 

Am I ready?

Am I ready to sacrifice my life for him?

What happened next? I don't have any plans for this. Honestly, yes.

This marriage is the start of me living alone. 

FREEDOM

Yeah, to get out of here.

The room, the house. That gives a lot of traumatic memories.

I can see myself crying over the bed 

I can even see my other me doing stupid things in this house

A lot of not recovery pain is stuck here

and tell me how will I cure depression, illusion, and overthinking?

I just think marriage is only the way I can get out of here and try to heal myself. 

I hope. 

and

this is the only dream that I have now.

I wish my dream come true.

How about him?

Actually, I don't put high hope on this marriage...

but, deep inside of me, maybe, the rainbow will come out at very last soon?

we don't know. Let's just hope but I don't really hope it as I'm still alive and I the problem. 

so, nothing change I guess. 

I really want to die.